rock bottom

Last night was kick boxing. I was dreading it all day. Not sure how I would do after Saturday's break down at the gym ...

Did not do good. The work out was good, but I felt so fatigued. Could not concentrate. Could not flow. Could not function.

Left there, drove straight to Tim, trainer-dude's desk, in tears. 'HELP me ... I am slipping!!!!'

In his office I looked on his book shelves .. all books about training athletes. No books on fat girl struggle. He looked at my frantic face, unsure what to do and said come back in the morning and we will discuss this. Regular work out time. 8 AM.

Went by the library, searching for a book. I am normally the first to reach for my bible to find my hope, I had already poured over pages looking for what the Lord says. "You will run and not faint." Isaiah 40. " "Self Control brings perseverance" Corinthians. Paul wrote, "Grace is sufficient for you in your weakness." The scriptures poured through my head. I was searching for something that read like ....'this is what you do when you are about to give up on your plan ...'

What I picked up was Lance Armstrong's book. Brought it home.

However, when I got home, we had no water as the well pump was busted and so at 8 PM, I took the girls and drove back into town to stay with mom and dad for the night.

I talked to dad and mom about where I was. They encouraged. refreshed.

Read the Lance Armstrong chapter on mind games..... could identify greatly. Felt a huge sigh come out of me ... and then tomorrow 8 AM, I felt that my inspiration from the Bible and my identification with my mind game, I could work out.

and I did.