I run .. sort of!

This week was work out city! Between my 2 cardio killer days with Melissa (465 calories and 642 calories) and my 2 strength train weight days with Tim, my trainer-dude, who had me a 515 calories and 451 calories ... and I still ran (jog) on Saturday, after a 3 mile walk on Thursday.

For the first time ... I try the jog thing ...

Tim stated that I should run at Harke Park. A beautiful park that Mr. Harke built and donated to Lebanon. It has a 1/2 mile asphalt track and play area for children.

So Saturday, before I go and meet some friends for dinner, I hit the park. Scared? yes. Manly I was scared of facing my weakness again and again. So I walk to the first bench. Jog to the second bench. Walk to the third bench and Jog to the fourth bench. One mile down. One more to go. This time I run farther than 1/4 at a time ... Still feel weak. Still can not believe I can not run one mile. But, I am not quitting ... ( and I did not sit on any bench!) then I hit my favorite coffee place .. not for a 400+ coffee, but for a whey protein smoothie with strawberries and skim milk, from the cutest little coffee gal ( my 18 year old daughter best friend) and met my friends.

Week 9 / 2992 calories

This week and these workouts were so good this week! Focus has been intense.

I kick box with the class, 465 calories in 45 minutes. I am keeping up .. except for abs!

I train with Tim on Tuesday, 451 calories...weight train arms and chest...

Wednesday, I wake up to a beep on my cell phone. I have a text from my 'Millian'. remember, I call my Melissa Cole Mack, Millian because Melissa + Jillian = 'Millian' ...

Her texts: what time do you work out today?

My Text: I work out with Tim at 8 ...

Her Text: Surprise..... you work out with me instead .. is that ok?

My text: Sure!

I put the phone down and look at my man.... "I have to mentally prepare to work out with Melissa. She kills me. I was not planning NOT to breathe today."

I love my Melissa time. Love it. But I know I can not breathe the whole time I work out with her. She is bouncy. She is energy. She is TIGGER from Pooh Bear. She reaches my 187 heart rate and I can not breathe there.

I pop in at 8. She takes me outside .. we sprint. we sprint again. we run backwards. forewards. sideways. sprint. again. I can not breathe. We come in and punch, punch, punch! "Don't you just love this," she asks? I do not answer. I can not answer. I can not breathe. We go back outside and spring more. 642 Calories later ... I leave ready for bed! and it is only 9 AM. I still have a whole day of work in front of me.

Grab the protein shake out the door and think ... note to self: should have not answered the text. Of course, I do not mean that. But wow, she works me OUT!

1750 Calories

My oldest turned 18 yesterday. My father-in-law had colon cancer surgery yesterday.

My emotions are all over the chart. Roller Coaster ride. Did not mean to, but I took the weekend off from training. I thought I could fit it in. Thought I would get up earlier, or after the hospital visit, or before birthday ring shopping with Lindsey. But nope. Heavy heart made for tired body.

My watch says I burned 1750 calories this week in my 4 days of working out. I skipped my 'on-your-own' days due to family stuff.

I have learned that working out, walking, and training, helps me so much with clarity in my mind. I have learned that even though there are days, I do not want to be out of breath, sweaty, and pushed, that if I will do it, my mind is clearer to respond as I need to. I think better. I am not fogged as before.

So even though this past weekend had me up and down and all around. I have not been that full of emotion in such a long while, I was still focused and stronger than before... and I did not turn to food. I turned to Jesus. YEAH!

I will love Him with all my strength. That day is coming! (see verse Deut 6:5)

I also am learning, that while this consumes me still, I am learning to make it a life style.

There will always be days, weeks, circumstances that press, push, and pull me. Always. I can not stop because ... God's strength will strengthen me, to gain my strength and be able to stand.

He is good. His mercy endures forever.

My father-in-law has a road ahead. But there is a light, a hope. My sweet, sweet, 18 year old, has transitioned to adulthood. There is a light. a hope. I am old enough to have an adult daughter. tears fall... love swells .. I will buy her a ring tomorrow to celebrate. She wants a sapphire with diamonds.

'Lets start to RUN'

I am down 5 pounds ... week 8. Shirts are so much looser. Jeans not so much. One back roll gone!

So while working out with Tim and all his crazy, 'Tim-Designed-Exercises', he says to me, "What do you think about running a 5K?"

HUH? Are you talking to me? Still fat girl here! Remember me? Laurie Bennett? The girl who crashed 14 days ago? (see previous post)

I think what I like most about Tim, among many things, is that he knows what he is doing. He knows weakness and knows strength. He is a fence builder I tell him. He knows what boundaries to have and how to operate within them. He is good at his job. He knows how to pace me. He also is a superb example. He practices what he is teaching. He knows when to spark me.

We talk about it the whole workout. I left, he adjusts the weight and he talks. We change what I am doing in my 'alone' workout days. One day I will walk for fat-burning day. Walking a long way and get in the stage where my watch does not beep. 110-137 heart rate range.

The other 'laurie trains alone' day, I will interval train day. Walk a minute, run a minute. and build up.

I am game. He has known how to pace me so far. Let's try.

376 calories on arm/chest day.. 459 calories on leg weight day.

burning..burning..burning..keep that fat a burning...

I can not turn the beeping off!

Tonight was kick boxing with my new Polar F6 watch. I was excited to see what it does!

Within 10 minutes of kickin away ... my watch beeps and beeps .. I can not and do not know how to turn it off. So, there I am with 20 or so women beeping and beeping. Melissa, even says outloud, "we have a watch beeping..."

35 minutes my watch beeps! for everyone to hear! Now, I know everyone can SEE how overweight I am... but for them to have to HEAR how out of shape I am in too.... embarrassing!

Directly after class, she teaches me how to turn off the alarm!

47 minutes . 430 calories! 35% fat! LOVE this watch! encourages me to go go go.

The only bad part of this watch is now I have my trainers on my wrist! at all times! At the end of the week the watch will tell them if I worked out on my 2 days of training by myself. and how long and how intense.

Could you imagine carrying Bob and Jillian with you 24/7 ????

Polar Watch F6 -- LOVE IT

Yesterday was my birthday. 37. I trained today with Melissa/'Millian'. I appreciate her. She keeps leading me to the fitness world were I am learning so much.

She introduced me to the Polar Watch. I have been researching them online. The Heart Monitor System can track my heart rate / calorie count / workout time / and store them for me for future review.

I found some retailers in St Louis, so my husband took me there to find one for my birthday. My parents gave me $100 gift card, and I planned to use it for the watch.

Sports Authority in St Louis, had the watch on sale for $99. Perfect! I bought it. and some work out clothes and sports bras and swimsuit for my new swimmer, Faithe, and fitness stuff. Had it been softball season, my Brooke, 15, would have cleaned house there. She is a softball player!! She is so fit, like her dad. Her arms are solid. We visited some other outdoor stores to look at hiking stuff because you know I am hiking in 2010 the Never Summer Mountains in CO!

So, today, I put on my watch and work out clothes after church and met with Melissa/Millian to train. We set up the watch for my body weight and such and away we went.

187!! my heart rate soared to 187! no wonder I could not breathe! stayed at 187 forever!

Now the Polar Watch has an alarm on it. so when I am over my target heart rate it beeps at me.

within 10 minutes I am beeping and beeping and beeping. She is pushing me along this work out and I am so out of breath, I just push my wrist in her face and say, "It is BEEPING at you!!"

"Laurie," her reply, "the beep does not bother me, I know how to turn the alarm off. Keep moving. Punch it out."

yeah, I am going to punch something alright! !!

When the workout it over, and I need a stretcher, I look at the watch 580 calories burned! 580 calories. How encouraging . Yep, I like this watch .... Go Polar

becoming a fit family!

Week 7 workouts were so much better. I was ready. I was good. I hit that weight, and walked, and worked!

I am flipping that tire. over and over! Tim timed me today, I am faster, stronger. Then he had me do some exercise that he created. Now, I know he has a Masters Degree in this ... but where he learned some of these exercises is beyond me.

My hamstrings are worn today and stretched. That is good. I have been trying to get this one exercise form down correctly for the past three weeks. I knew my form was wrong because the targeted muscle was not 'feeling' it nearly like it should. He has me hold the bar, with weights, in front of me, and swoop the fanny outward without bending the knee. My fanny is already swooped outward! I ate it that way ... today I got the exercise though ... or it got me .. which ever, and am sore a bit.

The littlest Bennett girl, our daughter Faithe, 11, started swim training today. It seems that she wants her sport as well. The area swim team begins competition in early spring 2010, but Faithe is in prep work now. She asked to get stroke help and get trained.

This is a big deal for me. Being a mom, I want the best for out three girls. I want to train correctly. 'Train the child in the way he should go,' the Bible says.

My daughters are old enough 18, 15, 11. that I know I have passed some of my terrible eating habits to them. It breaks my heart to think I have caused to them struggle with themselves or not treating their body correctly.

However, when I see them, start to themselves want better for themselves, in spite of me, I glow with joy.

So Faithe trains with her swimming coach today. and swims, and swims, and swims .. and loves it. And then Faithe knows to eat a healthy protein afterward to revive her body.

I am thankful to the Lord for hope and for taking what I did not intend to teach the girls and make it for good ...

Week 7

The scale is moving down a bit. Got my first comment from someone that I had not seen in a while about "Laurie, have you lost weight." and it is only Monday! good bye week 6!

Week 6 -- conquered me ... Week 7 .. brighter.

It is my birthday week. I turn 37 on Saturday. 37 is my favorite number. It means 'Word of God'.

There is no kick boxing this week because it is labor day today. I am going to walk.

My focus has returned. My mind is clearer. YEAH!

We will see what this week brings...

Whoa horses ....

Tim, trainer-dude, was so helpful during this 'roller coaster of Laurie-ness'.

I did work out with Tim on Tuesday and Wednesday. He talked a lot, I listened more. I pulled the weights, he gave me advice and training. Here is what we decided .... Thursday, I would take a slow walk .. no more ... Friday, and rest. I would eat whatever I wanted when I went to dinner with my cousins/girlfriends. Saturday, I would not work out with Melissa/Millian' but would rest. Sunday, I would rest more. Monday I would kick box.

Well the rest proved two things. I needed a rest. and if I am not working out, I eat way off my charted list!

Eating ..... my nemesis ..... now, granted my eating has improved 90% since training started. For sure. I am not a binge-r. anymore. But permission to cheat ... and I am going to cheat...

Saturday, went to a Cardinals baseball game with my man, and our daughter and her guy. Cheated. Funnel Cake .... 1/2 ... Brian and I split it. BLT for dinner at a cute little local sandwich place by the stadium. Soft drink ... Peanuts or two or three ...

Cardinals lost and I overate.

And then I overate on Sunday too. After church, my husband Brian made his homemade chicken nachos so we could watch the Chief preseason football game. Chiefs lost ...again and I overate .. Now, to defend my self, or justify, or reason, or whatever, I did not eat nearly what I normally would have eaten. No way. But was it Trainer approved? Probably not.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday!

rock bottom

Last night was kick boxing. I was dreading it all day. Not sure how I would do after Saturday's break down at the gym ...

Did not do good. The work out was good, but I felt so fatigued. Could not concentrate. Could not flow. Could not function.

Left there, drove straight to Tim, trainer-dude's desk, in tears. 'HELP me ... I am slipping!!!!'

In his office I looked on his book shelves .. all books about training athletes. No books on fat girl struggle. He looked at my frantic face, unsure what to do and said come back in the morning and we will discuss this. Regular work out time. 8 AM.

Went by the library, searching for a book. I am normally the first to reach for my bible to find my hope, I had already poured over pages looking for what the Lord says. "You will run and not faint." Isaiah 40. " "Self Control brings perseverance" Corinthians. Paul wrote, "Grace is sufficient for you in your weakness." The scriptures poured through my head. I was searching for something that read like ....'this is what you do when you are about to give up on your plan ...'

What I picked up was Lance Armstrong's book. Brought it home.

However, when I got home, we had no water as the well pump was busted and so at 8 PM, I took the girls and drove back into town to stay with mom and dad for the night.

I talked to dad and mom about where I was. They encouraged. refreshed.

Read the Lance Armstrong chapter on mind games..... could identify greatly. Felt a huge sigh come out of me ... and then tomorrow 8 AM, I felt that my inspiration from the Bible and my identification with my mind game, I could work out.

and I did.