Many years ago at my heaviest weight I attempted to walk Ha Ha Tonka's 319 stairs Spring Trail to the castle. It got the best of me. Winded me. Knocked me flat.
Saturday, I climbed those stairs ... and could have done it again. My emotions overwhelmed me a bit. I was pleased. Although, my weight is not falling down scale-wise as fast I would hope, my strength is soaring. I choose strength. I want lean. fit. strong ..
My trainer, Tim, tells me I have a great support center in Brian and my girls. He is correct. I do. They inspire me and help me.
This week, a sweet friend of mine, created a 'laurie bennett team' group on her Facebook. Support from my friends caught me off guard and caused me to swell with emotion. Why, I wondered? Why, oh, why?
I have a great man, sweet girls, wonderful friends, encouraging parents, family, and yet, when the focus is on me, I do not, and I mean DO NOT, handle that well. I do not like my birthday celebrations. I would rather plan a party for someone else. I would rather buy someone's dinner than them to buy mine. I am pleased to be the giver at Christmas, and not the receiver.
Maybe that is why the weight is still hanging around?? With weight I can hide? With weight I can escape attention? No, that can not be it ... Because, I do not want to hide. I want to minster, give, love, share, teach, others. You do not do that through hiding. My mom, my friend Tammy, my friend Melissa all think I have some heart healing to do. Probably. Don't we all? Jesus is continually healing my heart, body, soul. Continually reviving my spirit. I love Jesus.
As I figure out this .... whatever emotional trigger this is ...this why...... to why I am a basket case about cheer to me .. I will let you know .. if you know why.. please comment!
Today's training session brought the rope back. YES, the rope. Heart rate soared to 188! From a rope! But, it was better this go around than last week. My trainer, Tim, is good ... great .. He is just where he needs to be. I learn sooo much from him and his sister. God led me to a great path. I am thankful.
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Hey girl, I found your blog on accident and so glad I did. You are a huge inspiration to me through this. As you so very well know I have struggled my entire life (expect when I was 4 and my mom and dad took me to the doctor because I was too skinny)... don't know what happened there! Anyway, I agree there is some heart healing that has to take place to get us where we need to be to be our best selfs! Sometimes we don't even know what it is we need to deal with until you have that Ah haaa moment. I am here for you and through your blog I feel you are here for me! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteLaurie,
ReplyDeleteI was pleasantly surprised to find your blog this week. What a inspiration! I was further surprised to find out that you work out with kettle bells. Harold has gotten into kettle bells this year and has me working out with them some. I thought he was crazy...swing around a cannonball with a handle? Ha, ha. They help so much more than regular weights so I am sold on them except I do not use them on a regular basis and I should. I, too, have quite a bit of weight to lose as well as some heart healing. I think...how did I get here? I used to be a trained athlete. I used to be able to take the baby weight off nice and easy. Then some stair step babies (Luke, Jonathan and Laura) and some life changes threw me off course. I am so off course that sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get back on track. But that's another blog, lol. Just know that for me, your journey is timely. Your thoughts and struggles are some that I share. So keep exercising and keep blogging about it :)
And, like, you I'd rather stay behind the scenes, support and encourage others. A little attention is OK (a birthday party for me) if I can share it with others. So I get what you're saying...why you? I don't have an answer but I would encourage you to drop all past inhabitions (did I spell that right? No dictionary at hand, spell check not working), forget about the "why" and just receive, bask and enjoy! I do know how hard that is though. God has put me in circumstances in the past few years that took me quite a ways out of my comfort zone
Many blessings!
Laurie, love your blog! Sounds like your working super hard.
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