5K terror!

That was terrible. I mean it could not get worse. It is hard for me to even write about it.

My favorite weather man was calling for rain Saturday morning. Lots of rain. So I told myself, if it was raining when I got up at 4:30 AM, I was staying home. If not, I was running. Saturday morning, January 23, it was cold, but was not raining.

I did not eat the 5K prep meal the night before. To be honest, I thought that I would do better just on the fact that I was running longer and better than the last time I attempted. I was down in weight, so that was good. My mind was telling me this was going to be easier.

I eat an apple and a small yogurt on the way to Springfield. Drink some coffee. Ready to go! I arrive early because I had not preregistered. 6:30 AM. I set in my car after signing up and rested. Watched this crazy character warm up for an hour and a half! As I sat in my car, I would watch him run one way, run another. Come back across with this high knee bend runs, and back across again with lunges. Then when I thought he was done, in my rear view mirror, jumping jacks one way, and jumping jacks again. He was dressed is old time sweats with a sweatshirt hoodie. Looked like Rocky before a fight. He continued this for 90 minutes. I thought it would for sure wear him out. Sprint this way, sprint back. Stretch this way, stretch that way. It was for sure comical.

7:40, I get out of my car, warm up, stretch a bit and hear the chatter of the races. There are around 400 tagged racers. I hear all the things they are discussing and just warm my body. I was so cold, and it was misty. But no rain. Yet.

Women are called to the front as we will start 3:30 minutes before the men. 8:00 AM comes and off we go. I have a good pace, and start well. THEN, a cramp I have never know hits my side. I am doubled over. I slow down, still cramped. Tears fall. and more tears. I slowed to a walk. My first mile, and I am walking and being passed by a train of people. This is not good I told myself. So I started sucking in as much oxygen as I could. Still major cramping. It probably was not helping that I was in tears and between the crying and the cramping, I could not run. When I hit mile marker one, looked down at my watch and saw 18 minutes, I knew this was not going to be good. I thought that I should just turn around. But chose to keep on going regardless. I could not look at other runners as my sobs were louder and louder with every foot hitting the pavement.

Then, at mile 2, the cramping subsided, and I was jogging again. People were passing me on the way back, and I watch a flood of runner pass me as they headed back. I did not look back. I just kept going. and kept crying.

Between mile 2 and mile 3, two things happened to me that overwhelmed me. First, the woman that sold me the shoes, a 40 year old marathon runner, was guarding traffic and directing runners. When I saw her around the bend, and she looked me in the eyes and I smiled, she said straight to my eyes, "Atta girl, keep going." I lost it again as soon as she could not see me. Tears, a flood of tears. Why does this still bother me? Why does encouragement still send me to tears? I resigned to ponder that thought later so, I regrouped myself and kept on going.

Then, around another bend there was no race postman to tell me which way to go and I had no runners in front of me as they were all done, and only a handful behind me. I did not know which way to run. 'Are you kidding me, Laurie?', is what I heard my heart say. 'This is where you are. Still!' If I had not been able to see the buildings on Republic Road, I do not know which way I would have went. Because the first trek I made down this road before I reached the turn around, I was head down and crying and trying to convince myself to keep going. So, I did not know markers and I was lost. Behind ALL the runners, and lost. Tears.

I finally finish and see the timer. I would not walk past the finish line! So, I ran past it, 41:13. 15th from last, and looped around straight to my car and lost it again. My eyes were so flooded.

In retrospect, I did not respect the race. I did not respect the prep work for my body.

I am not running the 5K to win. I know I will not. That is ok with me. Really.

I am running these 5K's for simple reasons, but reasons that are mountains to me.
1. To Try my Body
2. To Finish Something
3. To Build for Tomorrows

AND, I have never loved the Lord my God with all my strength. Never. I would like to try. I know this is not what the verse means, as it means so much more than this. But my run, the journey does indeed build strength in me. And I will give it to Him for His glory.

A next race?? You might ask, ... yes, I am doing it again. My trainer says, no February races. At all. So, in March 2010 I will do another 5K.

I will let you know how it goes ... I covet your prayers for recovery. Emotionally & Physically.


P.S. I did not think it would glory the Lord at all to give Him this race, as I did my first one. So, I pondered whether to present it to Him. For this race was pathetic. I was by far the weakest: physically, emotionally, circumstantially, and daily, that I have been in awhile. But I gave it to Him anyway, because I know He will use it for His glory in spite of myself. He atones.